I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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