If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
