just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I had to cum in my sink.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
