Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
