Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Randomize
