I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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