fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
