You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
