you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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