who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Did you just see the Batmobile???
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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