yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
