After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
if only i could text you this smell
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Randomize
