I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
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