So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
