we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
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