theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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