these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
