dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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