To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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