hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
