You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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