Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
