Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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