Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Dear god my vagina.
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