Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
