Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
