..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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