So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
