her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
