i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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