So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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