It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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