I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
