As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
