do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
