we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
