I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
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