if you like me you must not know who I am
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
