he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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