dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
