if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
