I don't usually arrange sex via text message
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
