just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
