ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
