I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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