RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
