I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
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