me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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