I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
