Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
