I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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