Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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